They canceled school for tomorrow. Thursday too and panic is setting in. We’re gonna have a genuine snow day. Only, this is Florida and there won’t be snow. It’s just the weatherman getting it wrong, again, telling us with all the seriousness they know how that the world is ending. They toy with our emotions, getting our hopes up for what we imagine will be mounds of snow covering the landscape with kids making snowmen on every corner. They’ll have us running to the hardware store looking for snow shovels and road salt and planning a route to work if the roads aren’t plowed. Heck, we won’t even go to work. We can’t go out in that! We’re gonna make hot chocolate and put a pot of stew on the stove and make fire in the fireplace. We’ll get out the lanterns and candle for surely the power will go out. We’ll get out the galoshes and heavy coat we bought that time we went skiing and stand ready to shovel out a neighbor. It will be, we imagine....epic!
Only...it won’t. It’ll get down to 30 and the wind will blow and a mist will fall that everyone will swear is snow and say things like “gee whiz it sure is good they canceled school” or “If it builds up, does the city have enough plows?” and we’ll run to the local grocer for bread, milk and batteries while everyone in the other 49 states roll their eyes.
You can’t blame us though. Is there anything more picturesque than a field blanketed in snow and icicles hanging from the trees? Or an old farmhouse with its snow-covered roof and the sight and smell of smoke coming from its chimney? The sound of chainsaws and axes cutting and splitting logs and the thunk of wood stacking in a pile. Sliding down a hill on a sled, skating figure 8’s on the frozen pond and having snowball fights with your best friends. Nobody works, right? How can you when you live in a winter wonderland. No wonder Santa is jolly! Back in the real world the other 49 wonder how come it is we Floridians have it so good and why we can’t just be happy with our sandy beaches, warm waters and winter temps Canadians would call summer.
My daughter went home today ahead of the storm after a nice visit. She lives in the middle of nowhere in the mountains near Asheville, where winter comes to visit and stays a while. She got home safe but her road was frozen she said but they made it up the mountain anyway and says we should come up for a visit, that there’s snow in the hills. Well, when a Floridian hears “roads frozen” and “up the mountain” we’re apt to stay put and just content ourselves looking at December and January pictures on the wall calendar while standin’ with the freezer door open wearin’ an overcoat for effect because THAT, at least, won’t involve calling AAA to pull us out of a ditch. No... no, probably what we’ll do is call my brother and book a stay at those luxury cabins in Asheville, NC where the roads are NOT frozen and the fireplace burns a lovely fire. Says he can’t promise snow but winter for sure so come on up!
Well, maybe so, maybe so. Maybe time to go see what Ol’ Man Winter’s got goin’ on north of the sunshine state because I can assure you, he ain’t coming here. As I finish this up it IS tomorrow and as predicted (by me), it’s 35 and raining so there goes my hope of a taste of real winter. sigh. I don’t take to disappointment very well so we’re loading up and heading to those Asheville NC cabins to see some snow, make a few snowballs and drink some hot chocolate. It’ll be....epic!